Lessons from the Last Airbender

Over the break, my family went on vacation. In order to save money, we drove instead of flying (It seemed like a good idea at the time), which led to 30 hours in a van. For our family, that means a chance to re-watch the entire series of Avatar: The Last Airbender. If you have never watched it, you need to. I am serious. Do it. DO IT! (Not, I repeat, NOT the live-action one.)

Yes, I know it is a cartoon. 
Yes, it was done by Nickelodeon. 
Yes, it came out fifteen years ago (which I can't believe). 

I don't care. It is brilliant. The writing, the acting, the animation, the score, the plot, the character development. All of it.  

Because of this, it stands the test of time. 

So, the premise for anyone who hasn't seen it (seriously, you need to watch it) is that some people are born with the ability to manipulate the four elements: earth, air, water, and fire.  At any given time, there is one person who can manipulate all four.  That person is the Avatar, and their job is to bring balance and harmony to the world.  Fair enough.  So, a hundred years ago, the Avatar was an Airbender, and he disappeared; now the world has been in turmoil because for the past 100 years there has been no Avatar and the Fire Nation has been waging war unchecked.  Two teenagers, Sokka and Katara (of the Northern Water Tribe) find an Airbender kid frozen in a block of ice.  That kid, Aang, is the Avatar, the Airbender who disappeared.  

As I drove, I got to listen to The Last Airbender play out over the van speakers (and when I was the passenger, I watched it ).  I was struck again and again by how this amazing little series --only three seasons--had so much wisdom.  

I kept thinking about how much it seemed to apply to my work and my passions and my profession.  Maybe it was the new year or the fact that there has been a LOT of change/upheaval at work, but I kept coming back to the fact that this show had a lot to say that applied to me and to education as a whole. 

Aang: So the question is, how are we going to stop that thing?

Sokka: Why are you all looking at me?

Aang: You're the idea guy. 

Sokka: So I'm the only one who can *ever* come up with a plan? That's a lot of pressure. 

Katara: And also the complaining guy. 

Sokka: That part I don't mind.

Episode 2.13 "The Drill" 

Yes, Sokka complains. A lot.  But he is also the one who comes up with the ideas (usually hairbrained, occasionally successful). And somehow, that really hit home with me.  

If anyone were to listen to my monologues or conversations, I am sure it seems like I complain. A LOT. But in all honesty, that is only because I deeply care about things and am passionate to see wrongs righted and equity and fairness brought to bear.

This past year or two I have complained about Betsy DeVos. A lot.  (I don't see that diminishing any time soon).  But it isn't out of personal animosity or political strife. It is because I deeply disagree with putting someone without educational experience in charge of a board of education (state, national, local), and I VERY much disagree with putting someone who has never attended a public school nor had a child attend a public school into a position with the power Secretary DeVos has.    

I really do think there is value in complaining.  I do.  Sometimes, educators need to vent. Venting serves a scientific purpose toward regulation for boiling things, pots or volcanoes. At times, education feels very much like a world where everything is boiling.  It can be a hot mess, and the stakes are so high, the pressure so great, complaining can be a true relief.  

But it is only helpful if it also comes with ideas.  And I need to be cognizant of that. 

Uncle Iroh: No! Zuko! You must never give in to despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.

 Episode: 2.5 "Avatar Day"

Zuko, the exiled prince of the Fire Nation, has been looking for the Avatar (not realizing he is a kid) and is accompanied by his wise, funny, kindhearted Uncle Iroh who was formerly the fierce military leader known as the Dragon of the West;  now he longs to open a tea shop. 

Iroh has a lot of wisdom if only people would listen. 

And Zuko's life is so relatable. Things are always failing. His best intentions never payout. He is searching for something he can't find (literally and figuratively) and grows increasingly angry at his failure, not realizing that it is really for the best.  

The viewer can see it.  
Iroh can see it. 
Zuko has no idea.  

It is hard to realize that there are times that my ideas, as grand as they seem, are just going to fail.  Or situations will arise that completely change my path, and there is not a single thing I can do about it.  

I am a person who loves to help others.  
I am at my best when I am helping others succeed.  
I neither want nor need medals, awards, or recognition.  I thrive from helping others be their best selves.  

But there are times that doesn't work. And I can get really angry.  And feel defeated.  In The Last Airbender, Zuko is the character I most identify with, which might seem odd if you know me and have seen the show. (Seriously, watch the show). Yet it is the case.  

Zuko is driven, motivated, and filled with vision.  
And he fails again and again. 
There are times he absolutely can't let things go.
Me. Me. Me. 

And it is easy to get mired down in that. 
Really easy. 

But nothing good comes of it, and while it can be hard, Iroh is right.  It leads only to our lowest instincts.  I need to remember that. 

Guru Pathik: The greatest illusion of this world is the illusion of separation. Things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same. We are all one people, but we live as if divided.
Episode 2.19 “The Guru” 

At one point, Aang seeks the help of a guru who claims to hold some knowledge the Avatar desperately needs.  This interaction is an interesting one since the guru is simultaneously helping the extremely powerful Avatar and also a confused teenager since they are the same.  

All that the guru says about the world, the elements, the nations is true of education.  

There is this illusion that things are divided when they are not. 

We have departments and compartmentalization. 

Even the jargon we toss around with silos separating people or tasks.  

The idea that this is "Not my circus, not my monkeys." 

And the very idea of "stay in your lane".  

I have the opposite problem with Aang.  Things are not separate or me.  

This IS my circus. 
These ARE my monkeys.  
And, dang it, this IS my lane.   

I know there are people who will say I am just nosey or have no boundaries. But for me, if I can help someone, I want to.  If I see a problem, I need to try to solve it.  Even if it isn't in my lane.  

And that is hard. 
And exhausting. 

I am sure I have annoyed, bothered, or angered my share of people.  But I simply don't know how to stay in my silo. I honestly don't want to.  Because things really are all connected. 

And then there is this: 

Zuko: I can understand why you wouldn't trust me, and I know I've made some mistakes in the past.Sokka: Like when you attacked our village?Katara: Or when you stole my mother's necklace and used it to track us down and capture us?Zuko: Look, I admit I've done some awful things. I was wrong to try to capture you, and I'm sorry that I attacked the Water Tribe. And I never should have sent that Fire Nation assassin after you. I'm going to try and stop-Sokka:  Wait, you sent Combustion Man after us?Zuko: Well, that's not his name, but-Episode 3.12 “The Western Air Temple” 

This is me.  100%.  Zuko has done all of these things because they seemed like the best solution.  When he realizes how he has messed up, he tries to fix it and only makes it worse.  Even in the middle of making it worse, he just can't stop himself from correcting a minor error that meant nothing to anyone, but served to make the bad situation even worse. 

I have done this so. many. times.  Not attacked a village, but had an idea, pursued it, made somebody upset, tried to fix it, only to make it all much worse.  

The thing is, Zuko isn't evil.  He is really a good person who is continually struggling to do the right thing. He just honestly doesn't know how to do that. Combine that with being painfully socially awkward and you have a recipe for disaster.  

The same recipe that makes me. 

I know how I come off. 
I make a terrible first impression. And probably second. And third. 

People often tell me that when they first met me they thought I was rude or mean or scary.  And I can be all of those things, unintentionally.  

I have a strong case of RBF and zero ability to hide my emotions. If I am annoyed, it shows. If I am frustrated, the entire world can tell.  

I am terrible in social situations. Absolutely terrible.  I make weird comments and awkward observations, never realizing how awkward or weird until after I have said them. 

At my sister's wedding, while everyone was having a great time, talking and laughing, she handed me a shell to listen to the ocean (The wedding was in Jamaica), and I famously made a supremely awkward comment about the ocean sound actually coming from the fluid in your cochlea.  

Yes. I did that. I used the words "fluid in your cochlea."

Everyone just silently looked at me, then went back to their conversations.

I followed that up with a brilliant observation about their layered drinks and specific gravity. 

(Yeah, this is why people do not invite me to stuff.)

But after all of that, Zuko could have left, but he goes back, determined to make things better.  Even when, quite frankly, he is humiliated.  

There are times when I am overwhelmingly compelled to crawl home, lick my wounds, and let it go.  Give up. 

How many times have I driven past local businesses wondering how much they pay, since it would be better than returning to the scene of a conversation where my idea was disregarded until someone else mentioned it in a non-awkward way and it was suddenly viable?

How many times have I cried in my car in the parking lot when the things I have struggled to plan and build are casually set aside in favor of some larger agenda I am not privy to because, let's be honest, fluid in your cochlea?!

How often have I thought that this is the day I decide to keep my eyes forward, stay in my lane, focus on my silo, and just do my job, not risking, not worrying, not sticking out my neck or saying something weird or awkward or unintentionally insulting? 

But I can't. I have to keep going back, keep trying again, having those awkward, difficult conversations. 

 Which brings me to this:

Uncle Iroh: You sound like my nephew. Always thinking you need to do things on your own without anyone’s support. There is nothing wrong with letting people who love you, help you. Not that I love you. I just met you.

Episode 2.8 “The Chase”  

As a school, an educational community, we have got to start helping each other, asking for help, and letting others help us.  I don't know where the idea came from that it is Every Many for Himself, but that leads to burnout and anger.  

Letting someone help you isn't weakness.  Sometimes you just need that. 

There is no shame in admitting you don't know. 
And there is no shame in admitting you need help.  

We want our students to ask for help and accept it when it is given.  Educators, staff, administration, we all need to do that too. 

This isn't the Education Hunger Games.  
We can all win. 
Success for one does not come at a loss for another.  It isn't pie.  

And I say this to myself too.  

I might not take my own advice, but I would like to think I might take advice from Uncle Iroh.